6 against 1
I am alone.
Alone in a world filled with fart jokes, legos and muddy boots.
A world where I will never braid someones hair (not by their choice anyway). I will never go shopping for prom dresses or tampons. I will never teach a daughter how to apply foundation or how to use a curling iron. Wait a minute, I don't even know how to use a curling, I am TOTALLY ok with this situation!
Yup. I am a mum to boys. Lots of boys. 5 boys. Plus a husband. And a dog who thinks he is one of he kids. I am out numbered 7 to 1. And I am ok with that.
I like to do my nails and colour my hair (currently its varying shades of blue and purple). I like jewellery and bags. But I am far from a girly girl. Pretty sure I spent more time in the principals office for fighting then my younger brother did. I swear like a pirate, drink milk right out of the carton and don't own a piece of clothing with flowers or frills. I've always joked, if we had of had a daughter she would be wearing a blue dress (I HATE pink) and sitting in a mud puddle covered in muck playing with worms.
Am I sad that all I ever got was blue balloons? A little bit. Am I sad I will never get to share a glass of wine with a daughter as she cries over a lost love? Yes I am. Am I tired of being asked if I am going to try for a girl? Hells yes! Am I disappointed I am raising a brood of loud, dirty and loving little boys? Hells NO! I wouldn't have it any other way.
Boys are easy. They are rowdy. They are dirty and smelly, and rough. They play with their penises. ALL THE TIME. And I don't mean the way a 'sexually mature' ( I use the term sexually mature loosely as I don't think any dude is ever fully sexually mature) male plays with his penis. I mean pulling it out and shaking it in your brothers face kinda way. Or twirling it around your finger. Or stretching it like a rubber band kinda way. Boys fight. And they pee on the floor. And on the wall. And on the flipped up toilet lid. (How freaking hard is it to aim for INSIDE the toilet bowl????) But boys are easy. They like to build things with blocks and play trains. They like to hike in the woods and pretend sticks are swords. I like those things too. Boys are easy. My niece likes to play with dolls. Maybe its because I have been changing diapers for the last 8 years but I do not like to play dolls.
I've never had a girl so maybe I am wrong. Maybe girls are easy. I do know that as a young girl I was nice. I did well in school and rarely got into trouble. I was easy. But I also know as a teenager I was horrible. And I would hate to deal with a teenage daughter version of myself mixed with Husbands genes. It would be a bad day. Well lots of bad days. Maybe when my crew hits the teenage years and starts eating me out of house and home I will decide boys are no longer easy, but until that day comes I am going to enjoy my sticky cuddles, armpit farts and the fact that I am outnumbered 6 to 1.
Alone in a world filled with fart jokes, legos and muddy boots.
A world where I will never braid someones hair (not by their choice anyway). I will never go shopping for prom dresses or tampons. I will never teach a daughter how to apply foundation or how to use a curling iron. Wait a minute, I don't even know how to use a curling, I am TOTALLY ok with this situation!
Yup. I am a mum to boys. Lots of boys. 5 boys. Plus a husband. And a dog who thinks he is one of he kids. I am out numbered 7 to 1. And I am ok with that.
I like to do my nails and colour my hair (currently its varying shades of blue and purple). I like jewellery and bags. But I am far from a girly girl. Pretty sure I spent more time in the principals office for fighting then my younger brother did. I swear like a pirate, drink milk right out of the carton and don't own a piece of clothing with flowers or frills. I've always joked, if we had of had a daughter she would be wearing a blue dress (I HATE pink) and sitting in a mud puddle covered in muck playing with worms.
Am I sad that all I ever got was blue balloons? A little bit. Am I sad I will never get to share a glass of wine with a daughter as she cries over a lost love? Yes I am. Am I tired of being asked if I am going to try for a girl? Hells yes! Am I disappointed I am raising a brood of loud, dirty and loving little boys? Hells NO! I wouldn't have it any other way.
Boys are easy. They are rowdy. They are dirty and smelly, and rough. They play with their penises. ALL THE TIME. And I don't mean the way a 'sexually mature' ( I use the term sexually mature loosely as I don't think any dude is ever fully sexually mature) male plays with his penis. I mean pulling it out and shaking it in your brothers face kinda way. Or twirling it around your finger. Or stretching it like a rubber band kinda way. Boys fight. And they pee on the floor. And on the wall. And on the flipped up toilet lid. (How freaking hard is it to aim for INSIDE the toilet bowl????) But boys are easy. They like to build things with blocks and play trains. They like to hike in the woods and pretend sticks are swords. I like those things too. Boys are easy. My niece likes to play with dolls. Maybe its because I have been changing diapers for the last 8 years but I do not like to play dolls.
I've never had a girl so maybe I am wrong. Maybe girls are easy. I do know that as a young girl I was nice. I did well in school and rarely got into trouble. I was easy. But I also know as a teenager I was horrible. And I would hate to deal with a teenage daughter version of myself mixed with Husbands genes. It would be a bad day. Well lots of bad days. Maybe when my crew hits the teenage years and starts eating me out of house and home I will decide boys are no longer easy, but until that day comes I am going to enjoy my sticky cuddles, armpit farts and the fact that I am outnumbered 6 to 1.
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